It
has been over a year since I’ve written anything on this blog, and I think there are three
problems. The first one is, I have a career that consumes about 90% of my life,
and rightfully so as it is a family business, so naturally a lot of my loved ones are also
involved. Secondly, not enough discipline. I put such an image of grandeur in
the concept of writing that I can’t even just sit down and do it. The thought
process goes in, and then I think, “who would really give a shit about this?”
Then I realized…I don’t care who gives a shit about it. I give a shit about it.
The third… I’ve put too much pressure on myself to be writing about certain
types of music; to be writing in a certain way about these songs. I feel like I have to be constantly worrying about new music, and the reader's preference, confining to a genre... and all that I really want to do is sit down and write
about different music and how songs make me feel. I want to remember songs that
remind me of my friends and family, and send them the love I feel every time I
hear that song. I want to express my relationship with music. I started out
with a decent concept, I had a vision and a ‘hypothesis’, so to speak. I find
it hard to conform to ideals… especially my own lofty ones. So I’m starting again. And I might stop
again, and then start again. The cycle continues.
5/27/2014
I
went to two memorial services this past weekend. Fitting for ‘Memorial Day’,
but I was honoring two special people in different ways. One thing that stood out so specifically
to me was the choice of music during the services… and how that
one song can leave the mark on all of the attendees for the rest of their
lives. Of course in my typical morbid fashion, I began to ponder death,
funerals, and what music I would want to be played for my family and friends
after my passing. In my perfect world, everyone would just salvage through my
iTunes and Amazon account and listen to every single song. The thought of what
music would pair to my death and remembrance was overwhelming. I decided to
make a funeral playlist.
Song One:
a. To the majority of people that I've subjected this to, it just
seems like noise. A nice, quiet start with an electric shock of guitar, and
then some pale man wailing an undecipherable language. (some sort of Icelandic,
but Sigur Ros fans might note otherwise). But to me, it sounds like this:
i. Close your eyes. Really
listen. If any of you were in the car with me and I turned it on, you would say
“Turn this shit off! Depressing!” I laugh, because I know it does have a
lowering, mellow sound, and it is certainly an acquired taste. I respect that,
and I do my best not to force it on anyone. But in my last moments of
remembrance, I would want everyone to give it a fair listen. I love the shit out of it. It’s like an
orchestra of modern sound, so many layers and harmony…voice blending into wailing guitar. The beginning sounds like a funeral parlor, or a wedding hymn,
somber and deep, steady and simple. A spark of twilight flicks steady in the
background, like the sound of a submarine radar, a
twinkle of starlight, or a satellite. Sounds cheesy, but if you give it a listen you will
secretly know it’s true. Nice low notes to set out the tone of darkness, of confusion.
Then slowly, subtly, the stringed bow on the guitar. At first, to me, it can’t even
be identified as a sound. I see great rays of light; the sun beginning to rise.
Only a note that sharp could reflect so perfectly such a display; a beam of light to
your ears. Just imagine a sun rising over a vast plain, a summer thunderstorm rolling in, a child
being born, and even a slow and peaceful death. All of these things are
beautiful parts of life. Sad, cyclical and hard to understand, yes, but I have
found few other audio landscapes more powerful. What other song could display
such an overwhelming sense of natural wonder, vast stretches, emptiness and
wholeness altogether.
Tune in next time for funeral song #2... quite a different experience.
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